The Past. The Present. The Future.

When I left eating disorder treatment, I knew I wanted to be a therapist. At first, I was ashamed to share this desire with anyone. Even though I knew the journey to become a surgeon (my original plan) was no longer in line with the balanced life in which I am committed to live, part of me was scared to let go because I had attached so much of my worth to that goal. Another part of me feared judgement. I viewed becoming a therapist as cliché, and I worried that people would think that I merely want to be a therapist for my own personal gain – to figure out my own issues or to deny my own struggles by focusing on other people. However, as a gained self-confidence and let go of what other people think, I began embracing my story and my desire to become a therapist.

Currently I am applying to social work and clinical psychology (MFT) graduate programs. Writing my personal statements has encouraged me to reflect on the past, evaluate the present, and plan for the future. I want to share short excerpts of my personal statement with you because I believe it fully integrates how the past and present come together to influence my decision to become a therapist. Enjoy!

From the time I could talk, I always said I was going to be a doctor, a pediatric surgeon to be precise. At Baylor, I dove head first into intense pre-medical coursework and quickly got involved in every campus organization and volunteer opportunity I could get my hands on to appear the best candidate for medical school. From the outside looking in, I was the ideal candidate. I maintained straight A’s, held leadership positions in campus clubs, volunteered at a local hospital, and actively participated in my sorority. It seemed like I had it all together. However, on the inside, I was miserable. The pressure to present as perfect to the world morphed into an eating disorder that was literally killing me. Before I knew it, I had abandoned everything I value for a secret life riddled with lies stemming from the shame that I could not meet the absurdly high expectations I set for myself.

Coming to the realization that this lifestyle was unfulfilling, not to mention unsustainable, I decided to take a leap of faith and admitted myself to eating disorder treatment. As I began forming my new identity as a woman of integrity, strength, and compassion, I came to realize that I want to be a therapist and a source of hope for women struggling to fight the prejudices that stand against them.

… As a future therapist, I seek to advocate for and promote social justice. More specifically, I want to spark change in the way society views and treats women, and I believe that change starts with how women view and treat themselves. Years ago, I entered into an abusive relationship. It was during that toxic relationship that I first internalized the voice that told me I was worthless and should be ashamed of being a woman. For years, I remained silent because I believed I deserved the pain he caused me. Being an abuse survivor, it is my hope that I can partner with teens and young women who feel similar shame around their bodies and gender identity in order to help them discover their true worth in the world.

… I am passionate about working with teens because it is a such critical time for making important life decisions and identity formation. Adults often discredit teenage girl’s thoughts, feelings, and struggles. I aspire to advocate for young women’s wishes and needs, believing in them so they can believe in themselves. When I was experiencing so much pain because of my abusive relationship, I wish I had felt comfortable enough to confide in someone who would have advocated for my needs. I hope to be that person for young women in the future.

… Taking pride in my story instead of hiding in the disgrace of my so-called “failures”, I now live with dignity and integrity. I respect the progress I have made and hold space for the challenges I have yet to conquer, allowing for future growth. As a therapist, I will treat my clients with the same dignity and respect to inspire them to overcome the obstacles that stand in the path of realizing their dreams and aspirations.  

I am so excited to take the next step in my journey to become a therapist, and I can’t wait until my dreams become my reality!