This is a heavy topic, but hang in
there with me while I do my best to shed light on the disconnect between the
church and mental illnesses. Now I haven’t been to seminary, nor have I
attained my Psychology degree; I am just here to share my personal experience
through my recovery. Enough with the disclaimers already, let’s jump right on
in…
I cannot tell you how many times I
prayed for God to take this away from me, how many times I repented for not
seeing myself through God’s eyes, how many times I tried to use Scripture to
keep me from using behaviors. But no matter what, my eating disorder was all
consuming. Why was God not helping me? The shame I felt for being a Christian with
an eating disorder was enormous because I knew that my actions weren’t in line
with my faith. I believe that God offers grace, compassion, and love to all
those who accept Him. However, my life was defined by self-punishment,
destruction, and hate.
Question: Why couldn’t
I apply my faith to my eating disorder?
Answer: Because My Eating Disorder is NOT a sin.
I do acknowledge that part of my
disorder stems from sinful thoughts (for example jealousy of someone else’s
body), but the actual disorder itself was not a sin. Mental illnesses are NOT spiritual battles—they operate
outside the spiritual realm. It helps me to look at the science. It is scientifically
proven that people with eating disorders have neural pathways leading to
different parts of their brain than normal when thinking and making “decisions”
about food. These physical changes in the brain prove that eating disorders
are not just a heart issue, but a mental issue that is bigger than the church. (Look
up the research. It’s really fascinating!)
Now you might be thinking: The
church offers counseling services, why did you need to look outside the church
for help? My response would be because, I needed to separate the two. I was
stuck in shame that I was not able to use solely my faith to recover. I needed
an outside source that would provide neutral grounds to untangle the two. And
honestly, I needed way more help than pastoral counseling could provide.
Because my eating disorder is not a
sin, it is NOT something I will have to
struggle with my whole life. I cannot tell you how many Christians have
told me that my eating disorder is just an effect of my sinful nature, so it
will be something I will struggle with forever. That is a complete lie. And it
was probably the most hurtful thing someone could tell me, because I knew that
I couldn’t live with this disorder my whole life…this disorder would kill me. Since
eating disorders are mental illnesses, people are able to fully recover. Let me
say that again: You can FULLY RECOVER
from your eating disorder. Think about again in terms of science. Through therapy,
DBT, and CBT, you can “rewire” the brain and form new neural pathways that
cause healthy behaviors. I am I doing just that as I work to become fully
recovered.
So what’s the take away from all of
this? If you are a Christian and know of someone struggling with a mental
illness, DO NOT OVER SPIRITUALIZE IT. You
might think it will be helpful to pray over them for God to heal them or to
send them verses about offering up their disorder to God, but that’s not what I
really needed and probably not what they really need either. Chances are they
are already wrestling with the disconnect between their faith and their
actions. Telling them to surrender it to God adds to the shame because they
might not be able to do that—not because they are not Christians, but because
mental illnesses are illnesses of the...you guessed it. Mind. Not Spirit.
Rather show them compassion. Be the
hands and feet of God in the sense that you walk with them through recovery.
Support them by offering resources (therapists, treatment centers, etc.) that
will help them recover. Educate yourself about the mental illness. Offer a
judgment-free space for them to talk to you about their mental illness. And
while they are talking, listen, learn, and above all love.
**If you have
personal questions, need resources, or want to discuss this further feel free
to contact me. There is so much more that can be said about this topic, and I
would love to engage in dialogue about it with you**
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