2017.

There are so many memes circling social media about how 2016 was the worst year yet. For me, 2016 was probably my best year yet. Regardless of your opinion on 2016, we are starting anew with 2017. A new year sparks reflection. What am I doing that I like? That I hate? What do I want to change?

Most of the year we fight change. Change is hard, uncomfortable, and scary. But for whatever reason, the new year empowers us to embrace change. Unfortunately, many times we place this positive motivation for change on our bodies. I say “we” because I’ve done it myself. Four years ago, I decided I wanted to lose weight for my new year’s resolution. I was uncomfortable in my body, and I figured, why not lose a few pounds for the new year. Before I knew it, this seemingly harmless resolution turned into a raging eating disorder.

I lost sight of what I valued because I was overly focused on my body. My relationships, which is one of my top values, took the hardest hit. My connections with my friends suffered, and my relationship with my parents was strained. I couldn’t bond with people emotionally because numbing out the bad also numbed out the good. Eventually, I was pulled completely out of my relationships because I had to leave college twice due to my eating disorder. Losing weight made me lose the very things I love.

Now I’m not saying that everyone who starts a diet gets an eating disorder. Not at all! However, I do think that for everyone, diets take you out of relationship. When you are on a diet, you can’t go out for ice cream with your friends or take that late night study break to What-A-Burger. You can’t relax on the couch all day because you have to exercise. You can’t look in the mirror and see your beauty because simply by being on a diet, you are saying your body is not good enough. Most importantly, diets consume your thoughts and energy, taking you out of the present moment. Out of your life.

This year, I want my new year’s resolution to look different. I want it to truly align with my values and bring me closer to those I love. So with the start of 2017, I choose to honor my relationships. To make the time to call my family. To be consciously vulnerable with my friends. To be there for those who need support. To let others support me. To be present.

I encourage you to do the same. Don’t make your new year’s resolution to lose weight—I promise it won’t fulfill you. Instead, as you form your new year’s resolution, ask yourself:

What can I do to better align my actions with my values?

How can I invest my time in my passions?

What can I do to be present in my daily life?